Why am I the driver?
“Why am I the driver!?” I asked ‘D’ who sat in the front seat next to me as we made our way down South Kihei Road in Maui.

We were headed to the Flee Market to do a little bit of shopping when it had suddenly dawned on me that I was the vacation’s designated driver. ‘D’ just laughed at me and said:

“I’m so glad that you’re driving. I could never find my way around this island.”

I sighed and resigned myself to being responsible for driving the 4 of us around. Responsible for getting all of us to our designated pick up spots for our island excursions. Responsible for a rental car that I didn’t want to be responsible for…

The rental car agreement stated that only drivers over the age of 25 could drive the car. ‘D’ and I were the only ones over 25 in our group, and she didn’t want to do any of the driving so that left me.

Those of you who know me, know that driving is not my favorite thing. And I especially don’t care for long distance trip driving. It’s too hard and stressful to deal with unknown roads and freeways and traffic and fighting to stay awake. And I’m a horrible parker! Being single, I have to do 95% of the driving when I go somewhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very thankful to have a car to drive but there are times when I just don’t feel like driving. I have one friend I feel comfortable handing over my keys to and saying: “You drive.” And then I can relax, sit back and just enjoy being the passenger for a change. But here on vacation in Maui for 10 days-- I am the driver. I’ve been navigating this big, wide, new Dodge Charger all over the island of Maui. It feels like I’m driving a boat.

Driving in Maui is completely different than driving in California. The roads are small and only two lanes (one going in each direction) even the highways are only two lanes. The maximum speed limit on their major highway is… 40! It is very hard for a Californian driver to drive 40 or under. I feel like I’m tailgating everyone. I’m used to going 50 on Stockdale Highway in Bakersfield and 75 or 80 on the freeway. No wonder it takes an hour to get anywhere in Maui. Driving this slow is maddening! It’s like trying to hold back a stampede! And you never get to put your foot on the gas pedal because if you do, you might get over 30 in town. The street names are only marked in one direction at an intersection and are impossible to pronounce. I think the city engineer must have spent too much time on Wheel of Fortune buying vowels. He didn’t know what to do with them all, so he just threw a whole bunch of them up on street signs to mess with all of the tourists. The locals give vague directions that include counting stoplights and turning left or right at the K Mart. It’s sad that K Mart is a major landmark in Maui. It's even shown on their map. Everywhere we go, parking is a problem. The parking spaces look like they were designed for a Volkswagen Bug and I’m trying to squeeze this big Dodge Charger with a wide front end into them. Parking has been quite stressful.

Driving a car you are unfamiliar with has its moments as well. We went to a nightclub called Tsunami at the Grand Wailea Resort and valet parked the car. When we got in the car at the end of the night the parking attendant had put on the parking brake. I couldn’t figure out how to get the parking brake off. There wasn’t a lever or a button to release it. Finally the parking attendant came to see if there was a problem with the car.

“I can’t figure out how to get the parking brake off.” I told him.

He smiled and reached down and pulled on a brake release lever that was cleverly disguised as part of the console. I thanked him for his help and kindness and then we were on our way back to Kamaole Sands, our condo in Kihei.

One morning at about 3:00am we were on our way up to the top of Haleakala volcano to watch the sunrise. Driving up to the top of Haleakala (10,000 feet) takes about 1 ½ to 2 hours and we needed gas to make the drive up and back. This was the first time we had to put gas in the rental car since we had it. So there we sat at a desolate Shell station at 3:00am trying to figure out how to open the gas tank door. My 1993 Toyota Camry has a button to release the gas tank door, I couldn’t imagine that a new Dodge Charger would not have a release button for the gas tank. I searched everywhere and found nothing. There was no indentation on the gas tank door itself to suggest that it would open without a release button. ‘E’ pulled the owner’s manual out of the glove box and began looking for a gas tank release button. I couldn’t believe how much time we were wasting on trying to get the gas tank open. If we didn’t figure this out soon, we’d miss the sunrise.

“I’m going to go ask that truck driver to help us.” I said.

“I’ll go with you.” ‘D’ said.

We both got out of the car and walked over to the truck driver who was filling up the stations reserve tanks.

“Excuse me sir. I was wondering if you could help us.” I asked the burly Hawaiian truck driver.

“We have a rental car and we can’t figure out how to get the gas tank open.” I explained.

The burly Hawaiian truck driver was happy to be of assistance. He walked over to our rental car, looked at the gas tank door, pushed on one side of it a little bit and it popped open. I couldn’t believe it. I felt so incredibly dumb!!

“Thank you so much for your help.” I said smiling as the burly Hawaiian truck driver walked away.

I filled the gas tank and we were off to the top of the volcano to watch the most beautiful sunrise I’ve ever seen in my life.

The other day after parking for lunch, I noticed a nasty looking scratch on the front bumper of the car.

“Did I do that?!” I frantically asked everyone.

‘D’, ‘E’ and ‘C’ all came around to look at the nasty scratch.

“That couldn’t have happened while we had the car.” They all insisted. “We would have felt that big of a scratch.”

“Oh great! Now I’m going to have to pay to have that bumper repaired.” I wailed.

“We’ll just tell them it happened before we had the car.” ‘E’ said naively.

“They have my debit card on file, they’ll probably just empty out my accounts when I get back home.” I explained.

The rest of lunch was spent in worrisome dread of returning the rental car.

My parking skills have become an object of hilarity for ‘E’ and ‘C’. I’ll wedge this beast car into a tiny parking spot and ‘E’ will look at me and say:

“You have to straighten the car out.”

“As far as I’m concerned the car is parked! If you want the car straightened out, you do it.” I say handing the keys to ‘E’.

She then expertly straightens the car out and parks it perfectly. She must have gotten an A+ on parking in driving school. They’ve now started helping me look for less difficult parking spots when we go places. And ‘D’ is just happy not to be driving.

I’ve now driven all over Maui several times. I’m beginning to feel like I know my way around. Thank goodness the Maui driving map is easier to read than a map of California and ‘E’ and ‘C’ are good navigators and map readers. ‘D’ won’t even navigate for me. She wants nothing to do with this driving thing.

To get to Lahaina and Kaanapali from our condo in Kihei – take the 31 north, go five stoplights to the 310, turn left. Take the 310 to the 30 and turn left on the 30. The 30 takes you all the way to Lahaina and Kaanapali.

To get to Wailea from our condo in Kihei – take South Kihei Road south, veer left at the stop sign, and then turn right at the first stoplight. Follow that road to the Wailea beach, shops and resorts.

To get to Haleakala volcano from our condo in Kihei – take the 31 north, go five stoplights to the 311, turn right. Take the 311 to the 350, turn left. Go 4 stoplights to the K Mart and turn right on the 36. at the first stoplight turn right onto the 37. Follow the 37 to the 377 at the base of the volcano mountain. Turn left onto the 378, a really winding road. Follow the 378 all the way to the top of the crater.

Coincidentally to get to Hana – you also turn right at the K Mart and stay on the 36 until it turns into the 360 and then it turns back into the 36 on the southern part of the island and then finally it turns back into the 31.

Luckily we took a tour bus to Hana, as the rental car agreement states that if you drive on the road to Hana and get stuck or have car problems, you are on your own, because you’ve just signed an agreement that states you won’t drive their rental car on that treacherous road which is unpaved in certain areas.

And to get to the Airport in Kahului – take the 31 north, go five stoplights to the 311, turn right. Take the 311 to the 350, turn left. Go 4 stoplights to the K Mart and keep going straight past the K Mart into the main Airport terminal.

Driving Maui isn’t that hard once you’ve driven around it a little bit. The most difficult part was trying to drive slow enough so as not to run over or hit the car in front of me. The one thing I love about driving in Maui… just about every major road is right next to the ocean. Almost everywhere you go, you're driving on a beautiful coastal highway.  posted by Matildakay at 3:45 PM