Photo by: N.L. Belardes
One Bakersfield Woman's Blog to Mankind
Thursday, May 31, 2007
39
I turned 39 this past Monday on Memorial Day. Which was kind of fitting considering this is the last year of my 30’s. Wow! It’s really weird to say that.
39 didn’t really start to sink in until the night before my birthday when it hit me like a giant cartoon sledgehammer right over the head. How could I be 39 years old? I wondered. I don’t feel 39. What does 39 feel like anyway? I thought I had avoided the dreaded Gemini anxiety this year, but there it was like a ghost staring me in the face screaming 39.
In 39 years I have never figured out how to deal with the Gemini anxiety. I can only compare it to an anxiety attack. Having to face your age and the confusion of life on the day you were born as if birthdays bring wisdom or meaning makes me anxious. Because really I have no clue what I’m doing.
The day before my birthday I sat in the Harvey Auditorium listening to Bakersfield High School teachers and students speaking what they hoped were inspirational words to the graduates at a baccalaureate ceremony, when I heard the Mathematics Chair admit: “Life is confusing and I still have no clue what I’m doing.” It took guts to admit that to a graduating class and it made me feel so much better to know I wasn’t alone in my confusion. He went on to say that: “Whatever life throws at you, I know you can handle it.” In 39 years, that is truly the one thing I have learned.
39 is about opportunities. I can just feel it. It’s about finding ways to celebrate life. It’s about being a zombie in Hectic Films horror film. It’s about a project that celebrates being 39 forever, immortally and an opportunity that could potentially be bigger than I imagine. I’ll tell you all about this project when the time is right to announce it. It’s about change. I can feel that too. But whatever 39 throws at me… I know I can handle it.
On Memorial Day morning the big 39 and I headed down to Santa Monica with my Noveltown partners, N.L. and chingpea to attend a Small Press Book Fair. We listened to my ipod on the drive down, the shuffle feature was the DJ and for some odd reason the ipod picked all the obscure, rarely listened to music I had. Except for a couple Darren Hayes songs and a few Harry Connick Jr. songs, we were stuck in an easy listening montage from the 80’s and 90’s. I was a little embarrassed every time N.L. asked: “Who’s this?” Crazy! Why isn’t the ipod playing U2, Wilco, The Shins, The Killers, Coldplay, Sting, or anyone else that I listen to all the time? I wondered.
“I didn’t realize you listened to so much easy listening.” N.L. teased.
“I swear I don’t.”
“If you don’t listen to it, what’s it doing on your ipod?” He had me there.
“I listen to it once in a while, but not all the time really.” I tried to regroup. He just laughed at me.
And then a Darren Hayes song I haven’t heard in a while but love came on and I listened as Darren sang…
“Are you where you want to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did they make you sacrifice?
Did you make a sharp left
When you should've turned right?
Are you where you want to be?”
Well that’s an appropriate question for my 39th birthday. I thought. Am I where I want to be? I’ve always answered that question with a no since my divorce because I haven’t ended up where I thought I would when I dreamed of fairy tales. Somewhere along the line I made a sharp left and ended up where I am today. But that sharp left has made me more me than I ever would have been without it.
And then The Fly by U2 began playing on the ipod and I forgot about being 39 as we talked about all things Noveltown.
Soon we arrived at the Small Press Book Fair in Santa Monica, set up Noveltown’s table and began a day of networking with other Small Presses, writers and poets. We met a lot of great people, heard a lot of great poetry and hung out with co-poetry editors for the Noveltown Review Rafael Alvarado and S.A. Griffin. And the Noveltown Review went like hotcakes!
S.A. Griffin reads a few poems.
N.L. will be writing in depth about the Small Press Book Fair and our adventures there so be sure to look for it on Paperback Writer.
The Small Press Book Fair was held in an old church in Santa Monica with stained glass windows. I love stained glass windows. I find them truly beautiful. I had my camera with me and I took a few pictures of the windows and in and around the old church. I’ll share those with you in another post.
After spending most of the day at the book fair it was time to go exploring in Los Angeles. We were all starving having only snacked on muffins and cookies at the book fair. We headed to Hollywood. We had food and Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End on our brains.
We found one of our favorite burger joints, Astro Burgers, and gobbled up our food while we picked songs on the tabletop jukebox.
Notice the green mohawk and chingpea's cameo!
Afterwards we headed to Disney’s El Capitan theatre on Hollywood Blvd. We wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End in a famous theatre but all the shows were sold out.
So we drove to Universal City walk to see if we could see Pirates at the theatre there. We were able to get tickets and walked around City Walk looking at shops while we waited for the movie to start. The theatre at Universal City Walk is posh with wide plush seats, lots of leg room and a huge screen. Let me tell you Captain Jack looks really good on Universal’s giant screen. I enjoyed the movie even better the second time around. We spent most of the drive home dissecting and discussing Pirates 3.
It was the perfect ending to a great day. I usually prefer for my birthdays to go by quietly. No big fuss. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I just want to be remembered by the people I love. And that is exactly what 39 Memorial Day was.
I turned 39 this past Monday on Memorial Day. Which was kind of fitting considering this is the last year of my 30’s. Wow! It’s really weird to say that.
39 didn’t really start to sink in until the night before my birthday when it hit me like a giant cartoon sledgehammer right over the head. How could I be 39 years old? I wondered. I don’t feel 39. What does 39 feel like anyway? I thought I had avoided the dreaded Gemini anxiety this year, but there it was like a ghost staring me in the face screaming 39.
In 39 years I have never figured out how to deal with the Gemini anxiety. I can only compare it to an anxiety attack. Having to face your age and the confusion of life on the day you were born as if birthdays bring wisdom or meaning makes me anxious. Because really I have no clue what I’m doing.
The day before my birthday I sat in the Harvey Auditorium listening to Bakersfield High School teachers and students speaking what they hoped were inspirational words to the graduates at a baccalaureate ceremony, when I heard the Mathematics Chair admit: “Life is confusing and I still have no clue what I’m doing.” It took guts to admit that to a graduating class and it made me feel so much better to know I wasn’t alone in my confusion. He went on to say that: “Whatever life throws at you, I know you can handle it.” In 39 years, that is truly the one thing I have learned.
39 is about opportunities. I can just feel it. It’s about finding ways to celebrate life. It’s about being a zombie in Hectic Films horror film. It’s about a project that celebrates being 39 forever, immortally and an opportunity that could potentially be bigger than I imagine. I’ll tell you all about this project when the time is right to announce it. It’s about change. I can feel that too. But whatever 39 throws at me… I know I can handle it.
On Memorial Day morning the big 39 and I headed down to Santa Monica with my Noveltown partners, N.L. and chingpea to attend a Small Press Book Fair. We listened to my ipod on the drive down, the shuffle feature was the DJ and for some odd reason the ipod picked all the obscure, rarely listened to music I had. Except for a couple Darren Hayes songs and a few Harry Connick Jr. songs, we were stuck in an easy listening montage from the 80’s and 90’s. I was a little embarrassed every time N.L. asked: “Who’s this?” Crazy! Why isn’t the ipod playing U2, Wilco, The Shins, The Killers, Coldplay, Sting, or anyone else that I listen to all the time? I wondered.
“I didn’t realize you listened to so much easy listening.” N.L. teased.
“I swear I don’t.”
“If you don’t listen to it, what’s it doing on your ipod?” He had me there.
“I listen to it once in a while, but not all the time really.” I tried to regroup. He just laughed at me.
And then a Darren Hayes song I haven’t heard in a while but love came on and I listened as Darren sang…
“Are you where you want to be?
Did you get there easily?
Did they make you sacrifice?
Did you make a sharp left
When you should've turned right?
Are you where you want to be?”
Well that’s an appropriate question for my 39th birthday. I thought. Am I where I want to be? I’ve always answered that question with a no since my divorce because I haven’t ended up where I thought I would when I dreamed of fairy tales. Somewhere along the line I made a sharp left and ended up where I am today. But that sharp left has made me more me than I ever would have been without it.
And then The Fly by U2 began playing on the ipod and I forgot about being 39 as we talked about all things Noveltown.
Soon we arrived at the Small Press Book Fair in Santa Monica, set up Noveltown’s table and began a day of networking with other Small Presses, writers and poets. We met a lot of great people, heard a lot of great poetry and hung out with co-poetry editors for the Noveltown Review Rafael Alvarado and S.A. Griffin. And the Noveltown Review went like hotcakes!
S.A. Griffin reads a few poems.
N.L. will be writing in depth about the Small Press Book Fair and our adventures there so be sure to look for it on Paperback Writer.
The Small Press Book Fair was held in an old church in Santa Monica with stained glass windows. I love stained glass windows. I find them truly beautiful. I had my camera with me and I took a few pictures of the windows and in and around the old church. I’ll share those with you in another post.
After spending most of the day at the book fair it was time to go exploring in Los Angeles. We were all starving having only snacked on muffins and cookies at the book fair. We headed to Hollywood. We had food and Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End on our brains.
We found one of our favorite burger joints, Astro Burgers, and gobbled up our food while we picked songs on the tabletop jukebox.
Notice the green mohawk and chingpea's cameo!
Afterwards we headed to Disney’s El Capitan theatre on Hollywood Blvd. We wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean At World’s End in a famous theatre but all the shows were sold out.
So we drove to Universal City walk to see if we could see Pirates at the theatre there. We were able to get tickets and walked around City Walk looking at shops while we waited for the movie to start. The theatre at Universal City Walk is posh with wide plush seats, lots of leg room and a huge screen. Let me tell you Captain Jack looks really good on Universal’s giant screen. I enjoyed the movie even better the second time around. We spent most of the drive home dissecting and discussing Pirates 3.
It was the perfect ending to a great day. I usually prefer for my birthdays to go by quietly. No big fuss. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I just want to be remembered by the people I love. And that is exactly what 39 Memorial Day was.
Labels: 39, birthday, Captain Jack, Memorial Day, Noveltown, Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End, Small Press Book Fair, The Noveltown Review
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The Noveltown Review
Take a look inside the Noveltown Review...
The newest literary magazine out of the California Central Valley features some great writers from across the country.
Fiction stories by: Brad Listi, N. Frank Daniels, Conrad Romo and Susan Henderson.
Literary articles by: Lauren Baratz-Logsted, Cindy Wathen, N. Frank Daniels, Robin Slick, Susan Henderson and N.L. Belardes.
Poetry by: Matildakay, Rich Ferguson and Jenn Williams.
The layout is classy and goregeous! The writing is outstanding! You won't be able to put it down.
Get your free copy in Bakersfield at Russo's Books at the Marketplace or Metro Art Galleries downtown.
Or order your copy online at www.noveltown.net/books. (Online orders - minimal cost to cover shipping).
Read excerpts from the magazine and see photos from the Noveltown Review's premier Mixer on Paperback Writer.
**Updated: Read Greg Goodsell's review of the Noveltown Review on Bakotopia and leave a comment.
Be Noveltown's friend... add Noveltown on myspace!
Take a look inside the Noveltown Review...
The newest literary magazine out of the California Central Valley features some great writers from across the country.
Fiction stories by: Brad Listi, N. Frank Daniels, Conrad Romo and Susan Henderson.
Literary articles by: Lauren Baratz-Logsted, Cindy Wathen, N. Frank Daniels, Robin Slick, Susan Henderson and N.L. Belardes.
Poetry by: Matildakay, Rich Ferguson and Jenn Williams.
The layout is classy and goregeous! The writing is outstanding! You won't be able to put it down.
Get your free copy in Bakersfield at Russo's Books at the Marketplace or Metro Art Galleries downtown.
Or order your copy online at www.noveltown.net/books. (Online orders - minimal cost to cover shipping).
Read excerpts from the magazine and see photos from the Noveltown Review's premier Mixer on Paperback Writer.
**Updated: Read Greg Goodsell's review of the Noveltown Review on Bakotopia and leave a comment.
Be Noveltown's friend... add Noveltown on myspace!
Labels: Bakersfield, Brad Listi, California Central Valley, Cindy Wathen, N. Frank Daniels, N.L. Belardes, Noveltown, Rich Ferguson, Robin Slick, Susan Henerson, The Noveltown Review
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Noveltown launches The Noveltown Review April 12th
Noveltown is celebrating the release of its literary magazine The Noveltown Review on April 12, 2007. You won't want to miss this event or this fabulous literary magazine!
Here are all the details...
MUST R.S.V.P:
melody@noveltown.net
Noveltown to Hold Business/Media Mixer
to Promote New Magazine
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Bakersfield, CA - Noveltown has gathered some of the finest literary talent from across America in a new magazine with multicultural flavor. A business/media mixer premiering The Noveltown Review promises to show off cultural literary arts in Bakersfield, CA, Thursday April 12th 7-10 PM at the downstairs bar in Benjamin's Restaurant, 1419 19th Street. Music will be provided by Bakotopia.com.
"The Noveltown Review is a new vehicle to promote literary arts. It's newsy and it's classy with a unique blog crossover aspect. Anyone published within the review is in great company. It will grow into its multicultural shoes. And it's a free magazine," says Noveltown publicist, Melody Saberon. "We want businesses to support this great cultural effort coming out of Bakersfield. So we're making the magazine available to them first."
The inaugural edition has articles by Cindy Wathen, author of Remembering Cesar. She's affiliated with Writer's Digest and the Yosemite Writers Conference. Riotous author of Futureproof, N. Frank Daniels is also on board as well as sultry author, Robin Slick, and big-time chick lit author, Lauren Baratz-Logsted who just released the historical fiction novel, Vertigo.
Fiction pieces within the Noveltown Review come from L.A. Times Bestselling author Brad Listi of Attention. Deficit. Disorder fame, Susan Henderson, who runs
http://litpark.com out of New York, and Conrad Romo:
Latino author out of L.A. who runs Hollywood's Hotel Café Tongue and Groove poetry readings. Brad Listi also runs the popular blog, www.TheNervousBreakdown.com. Attendees can R.S.V.P. to attend the event by emailing: melody@noveltown.net.
The Noveltown Review will be distributed in Bakersfield, Fresno, Clovis, L.A., Hollywood, Baltimore, Atlanta, Philadelphia, London, and more…
Noveltown (http://noveltown.net) will soon be announcing the author of its next book in print, and is proud to be working towards leading the way in publishing in the Southern Central Valley… Noveltown's N.L. Belardes will be speaking at the upcoming Yosemite Writers Conference (http://yosemitewriters.com).
###
Noveltown is celebrating the release of its literary magazine The Noveltown Review on April 12, 2007. You won't want to miss this event or this fabulous literary magazine!
Here are all the details...
MUST R.S.V.P:
melody@noveltown.net
Noveltown to Hold Business/Media Mixer
to Promote New Magazine
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – Bakersfield, CA - Noveltown has gathered some of the finest literary talent from across America in a new magazine with multicultural flavor. A business/media mixer premiering The Noveltown Review promises to show off cultural literary arts in Bakersfield, CA, Thursday April 12th 7-10 PM at the downstairs bar in Benjamin's Restaurant, 1419 19th Street. Music will be provided by Bakotopia.com.
"The Noveltown Review is a new vehicle to promote literary arts. It's newsy and it's classy with a unique blog crossover aspect. Anyone published within the review is in great company. It will grow into its multicultural shoes. And it's a free magazine," says Noveltown publicist, Melody Saberon. "We want businesses to support this great cultural effort coming out of Bakersfield. So we're making the magazine available to them first."
The inaugural edition has articles by Cindy Wathen, author of Remembering Cesar. She's affiliated with Writer's Digest and the Yosemite Writers Conference. Riotous author of Futureproof, N. Frank Daniels is also on board as well as sultry author, Robin Slick, and big-time chick lit author, Lauren Baratz-Logsted who just released the historical fiction novel, Vertigo.
Fiction pieces within the Noveltown Review come from L.A. Times Bestselling author Brad Listi of Attention. Deficit. Disorder fame, Susan Henderson, who runs
http://litpark.com out of New York, and Conrad Romo:
Latino author out of L.A. who runs Hollywood's Hotel Café Tongue and Groove poetry readings. Brad Listi also runs the popular blog, www.TheNervousBreakdown.com. Attendees can R.S.V.P. to attend the event by emailing: melody@noveltown.net.
The Noveltown Review will be distributed in Bakersfield, Fresno, Clovis, L.A., Hollywood, Baltimore, Atlanta, Philadelphia, London, and more…
Noveltown (http://noveltown.net) will soon be announcing the author of its next book in print, and is proud to be working towards leading the way in publishing in the Southern Central Valley… Noveltown's N.L. Belardes will be speaking at the upcoming Yosemite Writers Conference (http://yosemitewriters.com).
###
Labels: Literary magazine, Noveltown, The Noveltown Review
About Me
- Name: Matildakay
- Location: Bakersfield, California, United States
An inspirational, eclectic and often humorous peek into the life of single womanhood in Bakersfield, California and beyond...
Keep Moving Forward... in 2008
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